Funny Thought of The Day

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Today We are posting Funny Thought of The Day. Make sure to read all the funny thoughts to make yourself laughing.

funny thought of the day

funny thought of the day

funny thoughts of the day

funny thoughts of the day quote

funny quotes

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Charlie Chaplin

There’s life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

If only common sense were more common.

Famous Quotes

Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

Sorry I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.

Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

Life is Short – Talk Fast!

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A. A. Milne

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

I have a new hair style today, it’s called “I tried.

Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed.

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.

Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin

Smiles are contagious… be a carrier.

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
Dennis Wholey

Life is always rocky when you’re a gem.

funny thought of the day

A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Walter Bagehot

Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I’ll add LOL at the end.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
Prince Philip

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!
Billy Connolly

I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Walter Matthau

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I’m not getting older, I’m getting more crunchy.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Dale Carnegie

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Alan Dundes

Save paper, don’t do home work.

I still miss my ex – But guess what? My Aim is getting better 😀

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.

My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, “Woof!” The other replies, “Moo!” The dog is perplexed. “Moo? Why did you say ‘Moo’?” The other dog says, “I’m trying to learn a foreign language.”
Morey Amsterdam

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde

Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

Never steal. The government hates competition.

Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?

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